Engaging in an Email Courtship

One natural progression in online dating is the email courtship that follows. The email courtship is that period of time when you and the person you have met online decide to take the budding romance off the online dating website and to your personal email addresses. Even those who met in a more traditional manner, such as at a bar or through a friend, often find themselves involved in an email courtship as time constraints and the convenience of email make this a great way to keep in touch. But, what are the perks and pitfalls of the email courtship?

Getting Carried Away by the Informal Nature

The informal nature of email makes it easy to get carried away. You might find yourself saying things that are not exactly true since it is far easier to get away with when emailing someone rather than talking to them face to face.

The informal nature of email also makes it easier to say things in a relationship that usually take longer to get around to in a more traditional relationship. For example, sexually charged emails are not uncommon. In addition, many people divulge more personal information through email than they would in person. While getting to know each other on such a personal level can be a great step toward a wonderful new relationship, it can be difficult to maintain this same level of closeness when finally meeting face to face.

Becoming Detached

Since emailing makes it much easier to discuss emotional issues than talking to someone directly, some couples might begin to fall in a pattern where important issues are discussed primarily through email. Falling into this habit can cause emotional problems down the road as the couple finds it even more difficult to express these feelings in person. While email can be a good ice breaker, it shouldn’t be used as a replacement for a real heart-to-heart.

Giving False Hope

An email courtship can also set you up for failure by providing you with false hope. Prince Charming may seem chit-chatty, understanding, and sensitive as you talk through email. But, in real life, he may not be anything like you thought him to be. It is easy to create a fantasy through email, but far more difficult to maintain that illusion in person.

Moving Forward

If you have met the person through an online dating service (online personnals) and your relationship has moved forward to an email courtship, you might be closing in on a great relationship. But, if it stalls for a long period of time and doesn’t move beyond email, it is time to move on. The next natural step in the progression is to talk to each other on the phone. A phone conversation can reveal a great deal more about the person’s personality and social skills.

Of course, you can continue to correspond through email. But, when you feel ready, move forward to the occasional phone conversation to help ensure that you and your online sweetheart really are compatible.